WARNING: Parenting Spoiler Ahead, Read At Your Own Risk!

80% of my family is suffering from some sort of stomach flu right now. Bug's doing the laundry and making us all dry toast and Ginger Ale. You must all know someting about me before I begin my tale of woe: I do not do stomach flu. I become 7 years old again, crying for my Mommy and having her bring me my "special towel" and some Sprite, and watching my favorite show on TV. I've been known to literally call my DH at work and tell him to please come home, one of the kids just threw up. No joke.

So, to all of you who a: haven't had this situation come up yet in your family, or b: are considering one day having children, please consider the following:

1. One day a situation will arise where both parents are sick. Who's takes care of the sick kids who could care less if you're about to, well, you know . . . ?

2. Motherhood + elevated gag reflex = a big problem.

3. When building a home or replacing carpet, go for the stain resistant stuff. Trust me.

4. Avenge is the best carpet cleaner ever. Hands down.

5. There is no such thing as a washing machine that is "too big."

6. Never be without Lysol and Febreze. And a big stack of old towels.

7. The "throw up bowl" should be clearly designated, and you should have more than one. If you have more than one sick kid, you need more than one bowl. The sharing rule does not apply here.

So, consider carefully and plan ahead. Now, if you'll excuse me, someone just . . . sigh.